Thursday, March 27, 2014

Mexicans Never Take a Break

At any time, at any place of work in the world, 1 out of 3 break rooms has a Mexican lady on her lunch break preparing flower arrangements for either a QuinceaƱera or wedding .

These findings are based on the fact that the communal employee refrigerator no longer can house my ice tea jug. To my disappointment, it has been commandeered by Rosa to be used as floral storage.

The union of Bianca and Guillermo is already a thorn in my side and I'm not even invited to the wedding. I better get a boutonniere to placate all this inconvenience or I'm going scorched Earth.

I know it's a joyous occasion, but the whole wedding seems to be off to a bad start. Bianca is controlling. Rosa ,the amateur florist in the break room that has a stronghold over the refrigerator, told me that Bianca made Guillermo get rid of his dog. That's just messed up and Rosa agrees with me.

Bianca is also making Guillermo co-sign for a new car and take out a payday loan to pay off her tuition fees from Everest College. The most messed up part is she didn't even end up with a certification in medical billing and coding.

Rosa has her reservations about the whole thing and I can't blame her, so do I. "Guillermo is such a trusting person. I hope it all ends well," she said. "Well it seems like Bianca might be using him, but I sure hope I'm wrong," I replied.

Wait, what was  I talking about?

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Let's Take a Vacation

Who wants to go with me to this new vacation hotspot called Passages Malibu? Even though my TV was on mute, I could tell this place looked fun!!! I wonder if it's all-inclusive or you pay as you go.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Half-Eaten Rotisserie Chicken in the Bathroom

A few days ago I was at a supermarket and I saw something that will stay with me forever. It's true what they say, you can't put the toothpaste back in the tube. A half-eaten rotisserie chicken sitting on the toilet seat of the handicap stall is quite memorable.

Once I moved past the shock, I was left analyzing the situation. If someone did want a free meal, eating it in the bathroom is a pretty fool proof plan of getting away with it. Who knows, perhaps it was purchased and consuming it in the restroom was premeditated.

I'm no judge. I'm just a guy with the songify app. So I dusted off a forgotten toy and made a crappy song. I also realized I've been misspelling the word "rotisserie" my entire life. So some personal growth did come out of it all.

The link to your audio bliss: