Thursday, May 23, 2013

Some Days You Win

As you approach the public restroom, you see the cleaning lady taking down the sign that says "Bathroom Closed for Cleaning." She's placing the Windex back in her rolling cleaning command center. You realize that at this moment, this specific bathroom is at its highest level of cleanliness. You open the door with confidence.

There will be no shit-cloud lying in wait ready to bitch slap you with stench. The poop mosaic on the back of the bowel has yet to be commissioned. The drips of urine that puddle in front of the urinal are not present. There isn't even the accumulation of excess soap below the dispenser.

This refurbished world is new and untouched. I feel like Columbus or Neil Armstrong? Am I pioneer, trailblazer or thrill seeker? No, I'm a merely a dude with impeccable timing. As I exit, I pass a co-worker in the hall on his way to the restroom. "Today's my day, Bill," I say in passing. "What?" he replies.

No matter how beat down you claim to be, never miss a chance to celebrate a victory. Some days you win. Some...days...YOU WIN!!! (Mat thrusts his fist into the air)

Floating the Backyard

Monday, May 20, 2013

The Crooked I...represent in moderation

 Photo Courtesy of Sarah Boyer
This playa was found near Barton Elem. represent.  

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

The Westboro Baptist Church: Savior of Mankind

They're mantra "God Hates Fags" is so brutal on the ears. Even the most pious person might have a bigger problem with the statement than the homosexual act itself. I don't know, I do anyways. From a religious standpoint, it's a contradiction in its syntax if you think about it . The protesting of fallen soldier's funerals and innocent victims is counter intuitive. The gays, straights, black, white, sane, pious, atheist and anyone with a pulse can count the ways they're actions are despicable.

As we ignore our differences and focus our dislike towards this organization, should we thank them? These universally hated people have united us. They've achieved a level of societal cohesiveness I've never seen in my life. It even transcends those few precious weeks after a tragedy when we put our humanity out there for free. Could this be the underlying motivation of these people? Are they becoming the lightening rod ,not out of ignorance or hate, but as players in a divine plan that the world has yet to see though? The actions of these seemingly heinous people is catalyst for a declaration of humanity by the masses. It's a blatant use of reverse phycology. Tom Sawyer tricked us again and we're painting the fence. 
These people may be brilliant. Every religious figure, in every celestial pursuit, has a story of persecution. A test of humility in order to achieve a higher being or state. On the surface, The WBC's members appear to be bigots, homophobes and fools, but what if behind the scenes they're watching the united front against them and smiling as their higher-level plan unfolds? It drives me crazy to even harbor the thought. Then again, why not? I know folks from all walks of life and not a single one endorses their actions. 

This scheme is no different than the convoluted stories in the Bible where god tests an individual's faith. Such as the story of Abraham. I realize it may be Old Testament, therefore "Old School", but when I first read this parable ,with naked eyes, I was sickened. I didn't stop and think it was a test of faith. I thought it was the act of a desperate ,mentally ill, man trying to appease an insecure deity that's even sicker. I still feel this way about any kind of holy literature that demands death. I suppose the whole story sounds better when it's sugar-coated by a man in a suit that practices his diction in front of mirror before he addresses the audience. Not every part of the "Good Book" is an easy sell.  
I know the above 'graph is antagonistic to the believers and a valid point to the atheists. It was meant to be. You either accept what I'm saying, discount it as opinion or give it credence. However, my best efforts to elicit any emotion will always fall short to the all encompassing "Hate Love-Fest" that's left in the wake of The WBC's teachings. Could these perceived monsters be the ever lasting light and the embodiment of true enlightenment?

You know, on second thought, maybe I'm giving these back-woods, inbred, hate-mongering, soulless pricks too much credit. Forget I said anything.