Wednesday, December 6, 2017

My 2017 X-Mas Wishlist

1. More throwing knives. I lost the one's I had attempting to fish with them.

2. Airhorn...AIRHORN!!!

3. A crappy boat I can destroy. I want to have a Viking Funeral for David Bowie. It's never too late when tannerite is part of the plan.

4. Tannerite

5. A Nightvison apparatus of any kind. It's all friggin cool.

Friday, November 17, 2017

Thanksgiving 2017

Unlce Corbin texts Dillin: Dillin...listen...you need to visit your grandma out on the oil rig this Thanksgiving. Stormie told her all about what happened at Cowboy Church and she's mad. I bought a bundt cake for you to take. Cake is a special treat out in the ocean. Don't worry about the throwing knife outfitter booth at trader's village. Wyatt said he'd be able to cover for you until you get back. I'll be able to Sunday, after your sisters 4H thing. Love you bunches. Don't bother calling me back at this number I'm gonna have to throw this phone away. Love ya bunches Uncle Corbin.

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Suicide

It's sad when someone decides to take their own life. It's also selfish. It's also a slap in the face to the folks fighting to stay alive. Celebrate the survivors and the fighters. Fuck genetics, fuck cancer and fuck the sanctimonious that feel we should mourn them ,in death, by their own hands. We'll miss y'all, but the rest of us got live'in to do. To fall to an enemy is honor, to succumb to disease is tragic, to murder your self is the transition of fear becoming being.

I'll get back to being stupid now.

Thursday, June 22, 2017

My Religion

Typically I go to church in the morning and then after lunch or when I get home from work. One time however, I went to church 12 times in one day!!! I had bad shellfish the night before. Thanks Jesus.

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Texas Courthouse Bathroom Series

This "pilot to co-pilot" pair of urinals can be found in the Reeves County Courthouse in Pecos Tx. As you're standing shoulder to shoulder try not to cross streams.

Texas Courthouse Bathroom Series 1

This restroom is in the basement of the San Patricio Courthouse in Sinton, Tx. Always maintain eye contact.

Friday, April 14, 2017

The Dark Side of the Rose

Me: So you're telling me that this specific species of rose is called "Pink Floyd?"

Flower Lady: Yep. That's really what they're called. Look it up

Me: No need. I must have a dozen.

Flower Lady: Okay, that'll be $44.92.

Me: Whoh...just 4 then.

(End Scene)