Friday, March 18, 2016

The Mudroom

I went to the mud room and The tap wouldn't come on. I needs light when I make. As I was changing the battery I noticed someone smeared on the tapping area. Look you and I know you smeared booboo on the light. All I'm saying is I need this tap light to be working so I can clean myself. If this happens again I won't hesitate to put a lock on that mud room and you can go in the yard like the dog you are. See you at church.  

Extreme Cat Petting

Monday, February 22, 2016

I took this picture...

...on the outskirts of El Paso. It looks like a scene from a movie when the villain/hero is on the run. 

Thursday, February 18, 2016

Today while in a public restroom I was a victim.

As I'm at a urinal I hear a groan from one of the stalls followed by the sound of what sounded like a frozen margarita being poured into a koi pond. Just the sound made me queazy, but the wall of stench that followed pushed me over the edge. After vomiting into the urinal I escaped this fresh new hell and got outside. What a way to start the day. I didn't even need to buy the coffee I went in to buy. I was more awake than I've ever been in my entire life. I called my mom and told her I love her.

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

When this commercial...

...comes on I feel sad. I'm not sure why I feel so much pity for him. He's making money doing what he loves, but I swear there's a guy off camera with gun trained on him forcing him to perform.