Today while in a public restroom I was a victim.

As I'm at a urinal I hear a groan from one of the stalls followed by the sound of what sounded like a frozen margarita being poured into a koi pond. Just the sound made me queazy, but the wall of stench that followed pushed me over the edge. After vomiting into the urinal I escaped this fresh new hell and got outside. What a way to start the day. I didn't even need to buy the coffee I went in to buy. I was more awake than I've ever been in my entire life. I called my mom and told her I love her.