Friday, December 16, 2011

Bert Branches Out

Dating Profile


Sesame Street


Favorite Color: Limes!

Teaching kids how to clean up after themselves and being angry.

Favorite Movies:
Reservoir Dogs, A Fist Full of Dollars, Thelma and Louise

Hobbies: Discussions about minorities, amateur aviation and depression.

What I do for fun: I like to stand under the shower when you turn it off. As the water pressure lessens the remaining water dribbles out like your being pissed on by a giant or a horse. It makes me feel like I'm somebody.

About Me: Greetings, my name is Burt. I'm new to the dating scene and was looking for a caring lady that can keep up with my unique lifestyle. Most of my time is spent shaving my head to look like a felt tip marker. Despite my shaving regiment, I do have a monumental
uni brow, I think it makes me mysterious. I'm very close to my roommate Ernie. We share a room with matching twin beds and I'm often annoyed at everything he does, yet I stick around. I stay out of pity, since I think he might be mentally disabled. I promise I will keep him in the closet when you come over.

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