Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Who the hell gave my name to the Scientology folks?

Here's my response to the form letter and book they sent me:

Dear Scientology People,

This planet sucks. Get me out of here. I wanted to grow up to be a caveman and it never happened.

Then one time I was tricked into thinking I was going to a Metallica concert and it ended up being a cockfight. A man with a glass eye burned me with a cigarette and stroked my hair. 

I went ahead and returned your book Dianetics. I think I already tried that diet a few years ago. All it did was make me hate bananas and have diarrhea all the time. (This attached picture demonstrates my aversion to bananas.)

Love ya, mean it,
P.S. - If you want to send me anymore literature a Batman graphic novel would be much appreciated.

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