Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Hey Guys, Rick Ross Here...

Hi, my name is Rick Ross. I have a cell a phone. I use it to sell drugs. I talk about breaking and entering properties illegally. I realize I'm far too obese to even climb through a window.

Thanks again for recognizing I wear red bottom shoes. I poop a lot and it takes a whole bar of Dove soap to clean me.

I am very gansta and I make a great deal of money illegally. Then I tell millions how I do it. I once had a seizure like an inbred tea-cup poodle on an airplane.

I also like to promote drugging people and molesting them while they sleep. In my mind the difference between rap and rape is just one letter.

It hurts when I go number two. My booty is mad at me 'cause I go boom-boom too much.

Please continue to mortgage what remains of your life as you purchase what I call music. I will take your money and buy things I don't need. I hope to buy enough things to fill the hole in my soul where the talent used to be. I'd like to remind everyone that I have a cell phone and shoes with red bottoms.

I'm pointless,

Rick Ross

P.S. - I desperately need to be milked. Please embrace me from behind and cup my melons. You may keep the salty excretion as a souvenir. Try me in coffee or as a substitute for buttermilk when you make biscuits.  

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